Thursday, March 1, 2007
Staying faithful - Focused on Others
At a prayer meeting last night the issue of remaining faithful was brought up. It was noted how important it is and how some are able to be so much more faithful than others. How do they do this?
Well, perhaps first of all it is better to explain what it means to be faithful. The word, I think we all know. But the terms in which I am speaking is the matter of being faithful to others beyond yourself: God, family, friends...
God tells us in His Word:
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might - Deut 6:5
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD - Lev 19:18
These are the two great commandments, which Jesus echoed in Matthew. What do they tell us? They tell us that the sum of the law is to have a heart, mind and soul focused on others, God first, others next, self last.
Why is this the case, especially when the world tells us to put ourselves first, to go get with gusto, to achieve, etc? Additionally, the activities of our daily lives of working, trying to "get ahead", etc. seems only to drive us to focus inwardly on self rather than outwardly on others.
There isn't anything wrong with focusing on oneself, but if you focus on yourself more than others in your life, and the God who made you...then there is a problem. This is something I know I am good at--focusing inwards on myself, my needs, my desires...to the exclusion of others. Talking with other Christians, I know I am not alone.
I bring this up because it is a common battle. Last night I heard the story of a pastor/elder who drives to church, picking up others along the way, for 2 hours each way. This makes a total of 4 hours of driving. He does this once a week faithfully, and has been faithful for 18 years. Why he needs to do this isn't the issue. The issue is how he remains faithful to those who depend on him, and to his God who called him to this work. As the guy telling the story pointed out, how many of the rest of us would be so faithful so consistently for so long? The answer, without him saying it, is few...
Staying faithful to God and those in our lives requires love. God's Word says:
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered - 1 Cor 13:4-5
I highlighted in bold "it does not seek its own" because this is the key aspect of love I think we all fail at. In business we "seek our own" to get ahead. In friendships we can "seek our own", thinking of ourselves, wanted to lift ourselves up rather than listening and lifting up others. In family, we can "seek our own", looking to do the things we want rather than the things our family wants (as an aside, I saw a great picture of a father swinging a computer in a tree swing like it was a child and the caption asked something about "who are you father too"? reminding me in a powerful way what is really of importance).
As I stated above, I find it so easy to focus inward rather than outward, to spend more time with myself than with God or serving others. I confess this for only once reason: as a way to drive myself to being consistently faithful. The stuff of life (things, money, etc) are temporary. There is nothing wrong with them in of themselves, but they are temporary. We cannot "take them with us". Our relationship with our Eternal God, the relationship with our family who are also eternal if in Christ (which is something you want for your children, which requires you spend time with them), the relationships with others around you are all things things of eternal value and are things you can take with you.
I know I've discussed things like this before, but they bare repeating over and over again.
I pray God will give me the heart to be utterly faithful to Him without failing. To have such a heart will lead one in the right direction of outward thinking in all aspects of one's life.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Juggling Act
I know I struggle every day with the question, "What will I focus on today?" I want to get the necessary stuff done as well as have time for the things I want to do (and here is the key point) without getting stressed out. I know I can get stressed if I try to do too much, even enjoyable stuff. Cramming too much activity in a day is a sure-fire way for me to get stressed and strained.
Personally, the formula I use (if you could to call it that) is this:
- Make sure the most important necessary stuff for the day gets done (work, time with God and His Word, time with family, home obligations are the key things in that list). In these, the most important thing to do is to not spend too much time at work. I can easily spend too much time at work trying to get everything done. I enjoy my job, and want to do well, but there is always something else to do. Last year I had tried to work too many hours for too many weeks in a row. Not only did I strain myself to the breaking point (figuratively) but I never could make a real dent in the work load. If you spend less time at the office (keep primarily to the main hours only without constant overtime) you end up with so much more time for the rest of your life. I've added about 2-3 hours to my time by doing this alone.
- Spend time on what I enjoy, but either focusing on one thing only on a particular day or a little bit of each. This, I've found, is a very helpful approach. Perhaps it is obvious, but for myself, being someone who likes to tackle many things, it requires a change in thinking. For example, rather than trying to read and play games and watch a movie and play chess and play the guitar, etc. I'd rather pick one on a given day and spend a good amount of time on it. Then, the next day I can pick something else. This way, in a week, I can spend at least a good block of time once a week on something I enjoy doing personally. The alternative is to do a little bit of a few things. This I also find satisfying, because I don't always feel like doing just one thing for a long time. So I allow myself to spend say 15-30 minutes on one thing, then 15-30 minutes on another, etc. This way I can actually do several things for several days in a row. In the end, the total would be the same as if I had done it all one one day only, but then I get to enjoy it many days in a row (which I often prefer).
- This is perhaps the most important of all. In all of the above, take time to "just chill". Take time to silently reflect on God, to read something almost mindless (that doesn't require much thinking), listen to some music, whatever. Perhaps your personal activities are in that vein (mine are not as they are mentally engaging), but either way you need time, even just a few minutes, to allow yourself to mental, even physically, rest. You need to take moments during the day to just back away from the stuff of life and take time for yourself. That a bit of a "steam release" if you would, lets the boiler pressure down, and allows you to move forward smoothly again. Those are great times to think of God, too, to seek His peace and His presence to enable you as you continue through the day.
Some simple thoughts, but they have been very helpful for me the last little while that I've being tacking this approach. Again, the focus is to remember priorities. Work is always there and is important, but there is also God and family which are more important ultimately, because jobs can come and go, but God and your family are always with you.
What I found interesting is to do a Google search on "busy lives". See what it brings up. Some are interesting. Some are funny :-).
"Cease striving and know that I am God;" Psalm 46:10a.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Relationships are hard, but worth it!
Why? The reason is simple. When you put two people together who are fully capable of being selfish, self-centred, inconsiderate, and so on--basically sinful--you are going to have problems. For example, you can spend so much time on yourself because you want to do your own thing that your spouse, children and friends get none of your time. You can be so selfish that you talk for yourself more and give nothing to those around you. You can be so inconsiderate as to not clean up after yourself even though your spouse needs it of you. You can be so sensitive as to get upset anytime someone points out an issue in something you do, even when they aren't mad. You can be...well, you get my drift.
These challenges in relationships, especially marriages, are well known and discussed on TV(especially talk shows), books, etc. The occur between couples, friends, family members...even countries.
The problem is we as sinful creatures, each of us with hearts all to capable of doing wrong (Jeremiah 17:9) we are in for strife...guarenteed.
But it isn't hopeless. I have found my relationships growing signifcantly over the last while more to the place I'd like them to be. What has made the difference? Changes in me. I'm not saying that because I'm the cause of all the problems. Absolutely not. Relationships are a "two way street" as many have said. It takes "two to tango". (Okay, enough sayings :-) ).
The thing, though, to do if you want your relationships to change isn't to try to change the other person. It is to change yourself. You are the only person, in a relationship, you can change. If you are waiting for the other person to change to make things better, you will probably be waiting a very long time, if not forever. However, if you are willing to make that step forward, to change your approach, your reactions, your thinking...your heart...you will see your relationships grow. Give more of yourself, think more of others.
Now, granted, if the other person wants nothing to do with making things better despite what you do, then there will continue to be problems. But such a situation isn't a relationship as it is one-sided. In the vast majority of cases, however--as it is in mine--both sides want the best. So the efforts of one can grow the relationship as the other sees the consistent, genuine growth, and responds.
Realizes this applies to relationships in trouble or relationships that are good. Relationships should always be growing, improving--just like we should be ourselves. No relationship is perfect. It can be good, but it won't be perfect. Always seek to see it become better. That is my hearts desire in my life, more now than ever.
If you are growing, aiming to be less selfish, more giving, more other-centric, and so on you can see your relationships grown and blossom. I've found that in my own life. I'm happy with the direction my relationships have been taking lately. And I attribute it to the growth and changes God has been bringing out in me.
Not sure what to do yourself? Turn to Him who made you. He understands you. He can grant you the wisdom and understand to know what to do. He has, thankfully, done for so me--despite my being a slow learner :-)
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Back to work, back to stress?
As I thought about it and prayed about it, and I realized the reasons one can get so stressed at work are two fold:
- Our fears of failure drive us to struggle and strain unnecessarily when problems or challenges come.
- Our ambitions spur us on to trying to do more that we can humanly do.
Consequently, the answer to staying unstressed is relatively simple: Don't allow the job define your life and your thoughts and--this is most important--don't allow the problems to disappoint you and affect your view of yourself.
When it comes to problems, expect them and accept them. Work to resolve them, but don't fight their existence and don't let them affect your view of who you are.
I enjoy my job and I want to do well at it, but the desire to be the best I can be and fear of failing to achieve that can cause me to get upset at problems and challenges. What I have realized is that I have to accept them and not define myself by their existence. Problems will never end. Challenges will always be there. Their existence doesn't mean that I am a failure. The fact that it takes time to resolve them doesn't mean that I am incompetent. Things can be hard and must be worked through, but I am good at my job and their existence doesn't change that.
This is key: I am not my job (and neither are you). I am who am I apart from my work. I am, more specifically, a child of God and what does it matter what happens in life if I have Him at my side?
Here's a great verse that applies to this issue of fear at work: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 4:6-7
Additionally, my natural desires to achieve also affect me, but in this case not out of fear but out of want. To battle this is to embrace contentment and not embrace the desire to do as much as possible to impress and achieve. There are more important things in life than work. It isn't the end-all and be-all of life. And what you achieve there doesn't make you who or what you are. Your relationship with God and with family, and even with yourself, is far more important than any job however much you like it or however good you are at it.
Here is a great verse that speak to this matter of contentment: But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment -- 1 Timothy 6:6
Ultimately, give your day and your thoughts into God's hands and allow Him to enable and strengthen you. Seek and accept His guidance--and you'll fly on eagles wings!
Monday, January 1, 2007
Looking into a new year: 2007 begins
In working on this posting, I eventually realized that the year will bring only what I bring to it. So I look forward into it and desire to live with renewed purpose and dedication.
It is common practice for us humans to make "new years resolutions". We get excited about something and go for it...only, of course, to break it soon after we start.
God, I feel, would have me accomplish certain things this year, and I am driven to achieve them.
I'm not sure I fully see where I am yet to go, but I know He has something for me.
The challenges is to keep that vision and not let it go. It is so easy to be excited when things are new. It is a different matter entirely to do so when routine sets in.
How does one keep their heart and mind focused on the things they are supposed to do? Right now, the blood is pumping and the excitement is there, and I see no way to fail. I know, however, the bumps will come. I'll explore them here at that time.
For now, allow me to say that I want to endeavor this year to:
1. To grow closer in my walk with God.
2. Spend more time with my family, to cherish them deeper.
3. To appreciate what I have more, and to make use of what I have been given.
4. To share myself with some part of the world, especially those in need.
5. Related to the above, to share myself with others is to share my God.
It is in things such as these that life has meaning and purpose. To do things for ones self and for its own sake possesses no meaning.
May God bless this year those things He would have us all to do!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Challenges of Finding Satisfaction
Sometimes it is food. I love food. And usually it is chocolate or sweets or some favorite food that I want to devour and eat as much as possible. This, of course, is silly because it is so temporary, and I end up just being upset that I stuffed myself. Consequently, I go and exercise extra hard to burn off what I just ate. Definitely silly.
Sometimes it is entertainment, especially movies. I love movies, and there is nothing wrong with that, but often I seek those things are a way to distract me from those things in life that get me down (relational struggles, stress, etc.). I get lost in the story for the 1.5 or 2 hours (or more if it is the Lord of The Rings Special Extended Edition which I just finished watching :-) ), but then the reality of life returns.
Sometimes it is relationships. I love my wife and children dearly. I have some friends. But my wife and I can argue or just frustrate each other. Children are fun, but can be trying. Friends are great, but they are often not available or can be hard to connect with. Ultimately, though often satisfying, they can also leave me wanting more.
These things seem to satisfy, but they never last. They are so temporary, so transient. You have to keep going back again, and again, and again. It has been an ongoing cycle.
Then the Lord brought me to Jeremiah 2:13 today, where He says: For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.
That was it! The problem is that, even though I mediate on Him and talk with Him, I was really looking to these other things for satisfaction and not Him. I never drank from Him, the fountain of living waters! I turned to the cisterns of movies and food and entertainment for satisfaction, when all I needed was Him.
All it needed was a simple shift in perspective. Of course He is the fountain of living water. Blaise Pascal himself said that there was a God-shaped hold in everyone's heart. Yet I was trying to put the square peg of earthly joys into the "round hole" only God could fill in my heart.
This allows me to enjoy the relationships and things of life without getting "bummed" by what is lacking in them. So my relationships aren't perfect. So what. They cannot ultimately satisfy anyway. Only He can. So I can't eat all the tastie goodies I want without getting fat. Just enjoy some. They cannot fill that emptiness anyway. And so on. It applies to everything.
The challenge now is to keep to that perspective and not fall back. Falling back is easy, but by His grace I will triumph! He has granted me eternal life through His Son. He has provided me His Spirit. He has promised me heaven no matter what happens. He is there, ever ready to listen and to talk with me. How can I not find Him satisfying? All I need do it let go of the empty cisterns that cannot hold water and grab onto Him!
Easier said then done? Perhaps. Let's see how it goes ;-).
Never enough time?
The greatest demand on our time is our work, which dominates most of our life. There are then the demands of managing life (house maintenance, car maintenance, shopping, cooking, health maintenance). There never seems to be enough time one can dedicate to these things to complete them to one's satisfaction. And they never go away. Whatever you achieve, there is always more to do. It is endless.
Where, then, are the times for the important things? Where is time for God, for family, for feeding one's self? Where is the time required to spend doing and enjoying those things that are necessary for the soul, those things that make life worth living? And I'm not talking about entertainment, which is yet another stealer of time.
Are we doomed, in our fast-paced, ambitious society, to spend all of our time on the stuff of life necessary to run it and never have enough time for the stuff of life necessary to make it all worth while? I struggle with this question. I really do.
It may seem odd for one who is taking time to blog to talk about there never being enough time, but what I've learned (which is one of the reasons I've started this blog) is that the issue isn't one of there being enough time. The issue is that we make choices about how are spend our time that lead us into not having enough time for the important things.
Ephesians 5:16 says making the most of your time, because the days are evil. In our society today there are many time stealers, but it is up to us to decide where and how we spend it. Yes, we have to spend a certain amount of time working and managing life (food, housing, etc.). But what we do with the rest of our time is our choice.
Will we waste it on empty things or will we invest it in important things? Entertainment is great. I enjoy a good movie. But if we spend all of our time doing that, when will we spend time with God, with our spouses, with our children, with our friends? When will we be able to spend time to educate ourselves and smell the roses?
There is so much beauty in creation to enjoy, and many gifts God has given in the people around us. The ultimate gift is what He has given in Himself and His Son, Jesus Christ.
We should make sure we are investing enough of our time in what is important. There should be time to do what the psalmist said in Psalm 26:7: That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving and declare all Your wonders.