The Juggling Act

Is it just me or are there too many things to do and not enough hours. I know, of course, that I am not alone. There are so many necessary things to do (work, family and home obligations, church obligations, etc.) and then many things we want to do (hobbies, entertainment, reading, etc.) that combined there isn't enough time in the day to do everything one wants.

I know I struggle every day with the question, "What will I focus on today?" I want to get the necessary stuff done as well as have time for the things I want to do (and here is the key point) without getting stressed out. I know I can get stressed if I try to do too much, even enjoyable stuff. Cramming too much activity in a day is a sure-fire way for me to get stressed and strained.

Personally, the formula I use (if you could to call it that) is this:

1. Make sure the most important necessary stuff for the day gets done (work, time with God and His Word, time with family, home obligations are the key things in that list). In these, the most important thing to do is to not spend too much time at work. I can easily spend too much time at work trying to get everything done. I enjoy my job, and want to do well, but there is always something else to do. Last year I had tried to work too many hours for too many weeks in a row. Not only did I strain myself to the breaking point (figuratively) but I never could make a real dent in the work load. If you spend less time at the office (keep primarily to the main hours only without constant overtime) you end up with so much more time for the rest of your life. I've added about 2-3 hours to my time by doing this alone.
2. Spend time on what I enjoy, but either focusing on one thing only on a particular day or a little bit of each. This, I've found, is a very helpful approach. Perhaps it is obvious, but for myself, being someone who likes to tackle many things, it requires a change in thinking. For example, rather than trying to read and play games and watch a movie and play chess and play the guitar, etc. I'd rather pick one on a given day and spend a good amount of time on it. Then, the next day I can pick something else. This way, in a week, I can spend at least a good block of time once a week on something I enjoy doing personally. The alternative is to do a little bit of a few things. This I also find satisfying, because I don't always feel like doing just one thing for a long time. So I allow myself to spend say 15-30 minutes on one thing, then 15-30 minutes on another, etc. This way I can actually do several things for several days in a row. In the end, the total would be the same as if I had done it all one one day only, but then I get to enjoy it many days in a row (which I often prefer).
3. This is perhaps the most important of all. In all of the above, take time to "just chill". Take time to silently reflect on God, to read something almost mindless (that doesn't require much thinking), listen to some music, whatever. Perhaps your personal activities are in that vein (mine are not as they are mentally engaging), but either way you need time, even just a few minutes, to allow yourself to mental, even physically, rest. You need to take moments during the day to just back away from the stuff of life and take time for yourself. That a bit of a "steam release" if you would, lets the boiler pressure down, and allows you to move forward smoothly again. Those are great times to think of God, too, to seek His peace and His presence to enable you as you continue through the day.

Some simple thoughts, but they have been very helpful for me the last little while that I've being tacking this approach. Again, the focus is to remember priorities. Work is always there and is important, but there is also God and family which are more important ultimately, because jobs can come and go, but God and your family are always with you.

What I found interesting is to do a Google search on "busy lives". See what it brings up. Some are interesting. Some are funny :-).

"Cease striving and know that I am God;" Psalm 46:10a.

Relationships are hard, but worth it!

I have beening thinking a lot about this recently, and have to say that relationships are hard, the good ones, that is--the ones worth keeping. I think anyone would admit to that. Casual aquaintenances, etc., are trival as there is little invested in it. Deep, long, meaningful relationships are hard.

Why? The reason is simple. When you put two people together who are fully capable of being selfish, self-centred, inconsiderate, and so on--basically sinful--you are going to have problems. For example, you can spend so much time on yourself because you want to do your own thing that your spouse, children and friends get none of your time. You can be so selfish that you talk for yourself more and give nothing to those around you. You can be so inconsiderate as to not clean up after yourself even though your spouse needs it of you. You can be so sensitive as to get upset anytime someone points out an issue in something you do, even when they aren't mad. You can be...well, you get my drift.

These challenges in relationships, especially marriages, are well known and discussed on TV(especially talk shows), books, etc. The occur between couples, friends, family members...even countries.

The problem is we as sinful creatures, each of us with hearts all to capable of doing wrong (Jeremiah 17:9) we are in for strife...guarenteed.

But it isn't hopeless. I have found my relationships growing signifcantly over the last while more to the place I'd like them to be. What has made the difference? Changes in me. I'm not saying that because I'm the cause of all the problems. Absolutely not. Relationships are a "two way street" as many have said. It takes "two to tango". (Okay, enough sayings :-) ).

The thing, though, to do if you want your relationships to change isn't to try to change the other person. It is to change yourself. You are the only person, in a relationship, you can change. If you are waiting for the other person to change to make things better, you will probably be waiting a very long time, if not forever. However, if you are willing to make that step forward, to change your approach, your reactions, your thinking...your heart...you will see your relationships grow. Give more of yourself, think more of others.

Now, granted, if the other person wants nothing to do with making things better despite what you do, then there will continue to be problems. But such a situation isn't a relationship as it is one-sided. In the vast majority of cases, however--as it is in mine--both sides want the best. So the efforts of one can grow the relationship as the other sees the consistent, genuine growth, and responds.

Realizes this applies to relationships in trouble or relationships that are good. Relationships should always be growing, improving--just like we should be ourselves. No relationship is perfect. It can be good, but it won't be perfect. Always seek to see it become better. That is my hearts desire in my life, more now than ever.

If you are growing, aiming to be less selfish, more giving, more other-centric, and so on you can see your relationships grown and blossom. I've found that in my own life. I'm happy with the direction my relationships have been taking lately. And I attribute it to the growth and changes God has been bringing out in me.

Not sure what to do yourself? Turn to Him who made you. He understands you. He can grant you the wisdom and understand to know what to do. He has, thankfully, done for so me--despite my being a slow learner :-)

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. - James 1:5

Back to work, back to stress?

Was back to work today after about 1.5 weeks off over the Christmas holidays. I stepped into the office as relaxed as can be and wondering if I could hold onto it.

As I thought about it and prayed about it, and I realized the reasons one can get so stressed at work are two fold:

1. Our fears of failure drive us to struggle and strain unnecessarily when problems or challenges come.
2. Our ambitions spur us on to trying to do more that we can humanly do.

Consequently, the answer to staying unstressed is relatively simple: Don't allow the job define your life and your thoughts and--this is most important--don't allow the problems to disappoint you and affect your view of yourself.

When it comes to problems, expect them and accept them. Work to resolve them, but don't fight their existence and don't let them affect your view of who you are.

I enjoy my job and I want to do well at it, but the desire to be the best I can be and fear of failing to achieve that can cause me to get upset at problems and challenges. What I have realized is that I have to accept them and not define myself by their existence. Problems will never end. Challenges will always be there. Their existence doesn't mean that I am a failure. The fact that it takes time to resolve them doesn't mean that I am incompetent. Things can be hard and must be worked through, but I am good at my job and their existence doesn't change that.

This is key: I am not my job (and neither are you). I am who am I apart from my work. I am, more specifically, a child of God and what does it matter what happens in life if I have Him at my side?

Here's a great verse that applies to this issue of fear at work: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 4:6-7

Additionally, my natural desires to achieve also affect me, but in this case not out of fear but out of want. To battle this is to embrace contentment and not embrace the desire to do as much as possible to impress and achieve. There are more important things in life than work. It isn't the end-all and be-all of life. And what you achieve there doesn't make you who or what you are. Your relationship with God and with family, and even with yourself, is far more important than any job however much you like it or however good you are at it.

Here is a great verse that speak to this matter of contentment: But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment -- 1 Timothy 6:6

Ultimately, give your day and your thoughts into God's hands and allow Him to enable and strengthen you. Seek and accept His guidance--and you'll fly on eagles wings!

Looking into a new year: 2007 begins

On this first day of the year 2007, I first wonder, what it will bring. Will it bring trouble and difficulties? Or will be it be a year of excitement and opportunity?

In working on this posting, I eventually realized that the year will bring only what I bring to it. So I look forward into it and desire to live with renewed purpose and dedication.

It is common practice for us humans to make "new years resolutions". We get excited about something and go for it...only, of course, to break it soon after we start.

God, I feel, would have me accomplish certain things this year, and I am driven to achieve them.
I'm not sure I fully see where I am yet to go, but I know He has something for me.

The challenges is to keep that vision and not let it go. It is so easy to be excited when things are new. It is a different matter entirely to do so when routine sets in.

How does one keep their heart and mind focused on the things they are supposed to do? Right now, the blood is pumping and the excitement is there, and I see no way to fail. I know, however, the bumps will come. I'll explore them here at that time.

For now, allow me to say that I want to endeavor this year to:
1. To grow closer in my walk with God.
2. Spend more time with my family, to cherish them deeper.
3. To appreciate what I have more, and to make use of what I have been given.
4. To share myself with some part of the world, especially those in need.
5. Related to the above, to share myself with others is to share my God.

It is in things such as these that life has meaning and purpose. To do things for ones self and for its own sake possesses no meaning.

May God bless this year those things He would have us all to do!